Hi guys! I’m new to the whole talking about your feelings regarding T1D thing. I recently moved away from my family (21 and finally moved off to college) but I’ve found that since moving it feels like my diabetes takes a larger toll on my mental. I was diagnosed in my junior year of high school so I’ve dealt with this for a few years. I had told myself that I had come to terms with the whole diagnosis, and how it controls literally every aspect of my life, though it seems like I was kinda just lying to myself the whole time. I think I mostly just ignored the feelings that I had about the diagnosis after about 19, I didn’t want to be depressed and have my diagnosis have THAT much more of a hold on me. The problem is now that I’ve moved away from my support system, which was always good(even though they never could really understand it) I’ve had such a hard time dealing with my feelings regarding the whole thing. Luckily I did move in with a great group of friends and they try to help support me, but they don’t really understand, even less so than my family did. I even used to be a person who thought reaching out and talking to others with my diagnosis was “stupid” and would just make feel worse, I now realize I probably should’ve been talking with other people who’ve gone through and are going through the same thing that I have to deal with everyday.
Sorry for the long ish rant there but I was wondering what other people do, or have done, when they’ve left their support systems and how they were able to deal with their feelings regarding this whole thing? I figure ignoring isn’t doing anything for me anymore(if it ever did in the first place) so I just wanted to hear what others had to say about that. How do you go about living a normal life day-to-day?
Hi @bsimps27 and welcome to the forum! I’m glad you had some experience with diabetes under your belt before you started college - I’ve heard of people who were diagnosed when they were in college or not long before starting and that’s got to be especially rough.
It sounds like you need to find - or build - a new network. You might go to health services and ask to be put in touch with other students on campus with diabetes -there may be some around and you just don’t know it! They can’t release someone else’s information but I don’t see why they can’t share yours if you ask.
Here’s a link where you can search for other students and young adults in your area. I’ve been diabetic for more than 60 years so I haven’t checked it out myself but hopefully it will be a helpful resource for you. I’m sorry you had someone who thought reaching out would be stupid - it’s actually the best thing you can do. With that in mind if you check out the Forum’s Resources link you can search for events and activities in your area.
hi @bsimps27 Welcome to Breakthrough T1D. if I’m doing my math right, you’ve had T1 between 2 and 4 years. My experience in this matter comes from my own diagnosis at age 12 almost 13. I was a typical teen, immortal and never had a thought in my head about things like chronic disease. When I was diagnosed I took it hard. My immortality came to an abrupt end. No one had this. Now I was different. In middle school it pays to be the “grey man”, blending in perfectly. Now if I talked about it, I was the center of attention I did not want. What I didn’t know at the time is that a diagnosis is a brutal trauma, and it needs to be addressed as a traumatic incident. Afterwards there will always be post traumatic stress. The next thing I did was the minimum possible to survive and i did that for the next 23ish years. After that long time, I decided I needed to take care of myself, so I did, and by the way that decision to take care of myself better was almost 25 years ago. After reading your longish rant … I have to congratulate you. you are, emotionally, decades older than me, you did not need 23 years of denial to come to the conclusion, you are already there. See the recovery from a traumatic stress includes denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance (arguable… but this framework helped me). It takes a lot of emotional resiliency to just say “I need help and to heck with this ignoring it”. This classic grief comes in cycles for me so I get exhausted sometimes (depression.. burnout… whatever) and then I work it out. The best way for me that I discovered is to try to help others. Even if “I don’t know what I am doing” the act of trying to help is very important to my head and heart. Just like @wadawabbit said, the “College Diabetes Network:” Now rebranded as the Link, is a great way to know others sharing the common problem. It is a very big help. It puts everything else in perspective.
A final thought, not really because I can talk for hours, but a closing word maybe: you are at the very beginning of an incredible journey and the story of your life. Everyone you meet has some kind of trauma, some kind of grief and loss in their life. You are not different in possessing this grief (loss of health)… you may feel different due to T1D, being that it’s not exactly common, but what you are going through is not unique. YOU however, are unique, but it’s not because of a pain in the ass disease, that must not define you, not at all. You still have the means to make a huge impact in your life, the lives of others, and the world. I hope you hang out with us, and use the thousands of diabetes-years experience here to your full advantage.
Now is a great time to start fresh. You are young, and you can set a trajectory for your life to make it as rewarding as possible. Unlike you, I never had support when I started. I was diagnosed at 17 but mistreated, put on insulin at 24 after losing 30+ pounds, and was basically left to my own devices. The big change occurred when I was 27 and found fitness in an attempt to deal with insomnia; overnight, I had newfound motivation, focused on improving my life and health. Almost immediately, my sleep and moods improved. A little later, a friend’s brother’s GF was a T1 and pointed me to a highly qualified local doctor, a top doctor at NYU, and when I started working in NYC, that network of providers was top-notch.
How I survived once I started to get a handle on everything:
Self-education on fitness, diet, diabetes
Find a great local doctor for diabetes.
If you’re in a major city, find a great local hospital system and a doctor from there.
Develop a fitness habit:
I started running, then cycling, then lifting, and then (it keeps going)
Develop a diet plan:
I was ovo-lacto-vegetarian, although I loosened up over the years.
My spouse, although a bit overly nervous, has been a great help:
Helped tighten my control
Improved my diet
Pushed me to take care of myself
You might already have these things worked out, so, as others have mentioned, finding people who understand your diabetes that you can relate to, work with, benefit from, and enjoy is important.
… I have to congratulate you. you are, emotionally, decades older than me, you did not need 23 years of denial to come to the conclusion, you are already there. See the recovery from a traumatic stress includes denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance (arguable… but this framework helped me). It takes a lot of emotional resiliency to just say “I need help and to heck with this ignoring it”. This classic grief comes in cycles for me so I get exhausted sometimes (depression.. burnout… whatever) and then I work it out. The best way for me that I discovered is to try to help others. Even if “I don’t know what I am doing” the act of trying to help is very important to my head and heart. Just like 
