Hi all,
Does anyone know if there is a forum or support community for spouses of T1D? TIA!
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hi @annabere and welcome to Type One Nation! you are welcome here. Almost all of our participants here are T1 themselves, but certainly we have caregivers and “Significant Other” here as well. If nothing else, we can give you a perspective about what it is like to have T1. If you’d like to ask anything please feel free.
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@annabere Hello Anna, and welcome to the TypeOneNation Community Forum!
In addition to family members being welcome here at this “Community” Forum, spouses and other family members, as well as those who Assist those with T1D are welcome to all JDRF events At some of the local JDRF events I attend, I’ve regularly met family of someone who has diabetes, but not the person who has diabetes. You can easily find a JDRF Chapter by selecting the EVENTS tab at top of this page, and select JDRF Near You and enter your zipcode.
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Hi Hannah. Thank you for posting. My partner whom I had been with for four years, had type one diabetes. The only reason that we are not together anymore is because he just passed away unfortunately in April. He was 44 years old. Nonetheless, I would be happy to answer any questions you might have or to try to help you with any concerns you might have, as well. You’re welcome to reach out to me if you wish. I hope this helps.
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Hi @annabere. You don’t say where you are located, but I do know of some organizations/websites that are designed to include partners/caregivers of T1Ds. Some include Type1United in Washington state and ConnecT1D in the same area as well as Canada.
Hello everyone, I have been married for 2 years to a T1D man who uses a Medtronic pump and who does a very physical job. We have a baby daughter who is 16mo and I am struggling with his irritability during big changes or stressful events. In the past I have tried to ask him what helps him but I think he doesn’t really know how he wants to be helped or he would like to be left to do it all alone. The problem is that sometimes stuff gets thrown around the house, things are broken or hurtful things are said. When this happens I feel like I really want some space away from him to recover and to feel safe. It makes it really difficult for me to be open and communicative because I fear it’s always going to end up with “you don’t know what life is like with a pump” or “I have a right to be angry, I’m I’ll and you are stressing me out”. None of which are particularly helpful. Does anyone have any suggestions?
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hello @OL_UntierOfKnots welcome to the forum.
Anytime someone becomes violent, for any reason , any reason at all, your duty is to protect yourself and your children. If that means going for a drive, temporarily leaving until things calm down, or calling the authorities is up to how bad it is and how unsafe you feel. The behavior of breaking things sounds unacceptable to me, I do not get a pass to be violent just because I have diabetes, and if I cannot control myself then the fallout is completely on me. I reserve the right to be an unpleasant person once in a while, but accept that when I am unpleasant then my beloved family may not want to be near me.
You cant control your husband. You can suggest he takes this to his medical team to come up with a plan, but what he does with it is up to him. There are new feedback pumps and sensors which prevent me from “accidentally” being low or going low and not knowing about it, and I do it for my safety and the safety of those around me.
please take care of yourself and your baby.
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I agree completely with what @joe said. I know being low can sometimes make me say things I should not say, and I’ve learned to control that for the most part. But prevention is best: lows can’t be avoided 100%, but your husband should work with his doctor to find settings that help minimize them. Some people seeking tight control like to keep their numbers on the low side of normal - but if that (or anything else) causes your husband to become a danger to himself or others, then aiming a bit higher might be in order.
Unfortunately this lies on your husband’s shoulders - he has to be willing to accept help when it’s offered. Even with a CGM, sometimes we or someone else notice our signs before an alert kicks in. I hope your husband will come to accept your help in due time.
Thank you @joe . I will take a this onboard.
Thank you, @wadawabbit . I think in the past he has been disappointed with the support he has received from his specialist nurse. It doesn’t help that the person who sees him for his appointments seems to
change every time.
Hi,
My husband and I have had issues over how he can help my with my diabetes. I my blood sugar was low during the night, he would try to force food into me. While I appreciated that he was trying to help, he didn’t understand that what he was trying to give me wasn’t what I needed/wanted. He would get frustrated and even punched a hole in the wall of our bedroom!
We went to an Adult Retreat for people with T1D, at my insistence, which really helped us. After the Retreat, he asked me how he could help me. I told him to let me take care of myself. I’ve lived with T1D for (then) over 20 years and needed him to trust that I know what I am doing. I let him know that I would ask for help if I needed it. This has gone a long way to making our lives much more peaceful.
Communication is key, as the saying goes. So, I would suggest talking to him and really listening to what he says. If you are concerned about how he is controlling/not controlling his blood sugars tell him that, but listen to his answer without judgement. Once my husband and I did this, he started to understand that perfect blood sugars are not possible, as he thought. We do out best to keep low and high blood sugars to a minimum, but they do happen and always will, until there is a cure.
I hope this helps!
Pam K.
T1D 58.5 years and counting!
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